Wild and Crazy…vs… Sane and Safe

I am in a mood to do something wild and crazy….I really don’t know what..I am generally feeling a little more restless than usual….(now I am normally restless….that is why I am the restless princess….so more than usual is BAD news!!)

I mean what kind of an existence is this…..go to office…do some absolutely meaningless work…..come home….read some book….write some meaningless post…..chat with random people….and then go to sleep and then start this all over again…What a waste….This was not ‘my plan’ for life.. 😦  (Like Priyanka says in Dostana)…And on the face of It life is great….only something is vital is missing….

Now why am  I feeling like this….I guess there are many reasons…. Like work is slow and not feeling too meaningful as of now…maybe the  interesting conversation I had ..… but mainly I think it is because of this Rashmi Bansal book I am reading….

God I feel like I am wasting my life cause I don’t have the guts to get up and leave…..but the problem is I don’t know what I want to do..:-(….I know I want to do something meaningful and something which adds value…but I don’t know what it is….and I don’t know if I will ever know ..:-(

And this is a low risk period  in my life…..I don’t particularly need the money or a steady job…but yet I am still here!!

I love my company…it is comfortable….it nice…nice people…close to home…get enough in my account at the end of every month to go for 4 movies and dinner a month and yet have something left in the account to put in the stock market….but I know I don’t want to sell software or be a part of a software company for the rest of my life….but then what do I want to do….go back to Physiotherapy ….ummm…… maybe …maybe not….go back to the hospital sector…..umm…maybe …maybe not….Teach…maybe…maybe not…

I have been like that….I suck at taking a decision when given a choice…but when pushed into anything….I am usually happy…..

Anyways….I know I am going to do absolutely nothing about it….unless I am thrown out of my job….now with the recession it is possible….but with my wonderfully  sarkari company it is not very probable….well not that I want to get thrown out of my job…it would not be good for the ego….but I really  do want to do something different…

So what wild and crazy thing  will I do…… Absolutely  nothing L…. How boring!! L

I  think I have a conflicting personality…One side of me wants to be ‘Wild and Crazy’…and the other side of me wants to be sane and safe….the ‘Sane and Safe’ me  always wins…L

I wish I had a partner in crime to be ‘Wild and Crazy’…..then maybe the ‘Sane and Safe’ me would give up  some  control it has over me…everyone I currently know around me…fuels the ‘Sane and Safe’ me and discourages me from doing anything crazy…. 😦

The ‘Wild and Crazy ‘ me is dying…..Someone save me…..Waaaah….Waaaah…. 😦

PS- Sorry for an unhappy type of a post…I will sure come with a Happier post tomorrow!! J

 

 

 

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Wild and Crazy…vs… Sane and Safe

  1. adb

    This sort of restlessnees happens not only to the princess but to everyone. Tis a passing phase. If you find a solution, share it.

  2. Anand.U

    Deja Vu …Interesting and quite true…Patient condition normal…I too wish it is just a passing phase…Break wud be best thing…Sometimes Break fails to do the trick…Time and again I do find me here…Then you end up putting your head into this Wall phase…Then comes this Knock this Big Wall down phase (Ignoring the Fire Hole Escape route)…Then comes the Live Free Die Hard phase (if something in you has die give your best shot and let it die with some honor … ;))…coming out of your shell/emerging phase…Family/Friends/Peers/Bosses watch out/ phase…Friends fall apart phase…Reaching out for New Friends/People Running Away from you Phase…Family Convincing You into Family mode phase…Lone Hitch Hiking/Rock Climbing phase…Running out of ideas phase…The Inevitable Big Fall phase…Rock Bottom 1000 feet crap then you phase (now it is just the matter of time …end looks very certain)…Ultrasonic Beautiful,Passionate,high energy Paper Boat Making Gal phase …The Matrix /Totally worth it phase …Deja Vu …hav fun !!!

  3. aplihs

    @ Ajit..well i am trying out differnt things….hope they will work
    1)Going on a three day camp….starting tomorrow morning..
    2) 🙂 Found a partner in office to go Gyming in the middle of a working day….(not that is slighy wild and crazy!)

    @ Anand..
    I am gonna put another post on 10 worlds…..it talks about differnt states/phases of life that we undergo every single day….see if it makes sense.

    Btw….it is a really nice feeling to see two new comments when you open your blog in the morning! Thanks so much!

  4. May be Talking oneself while watching sky one of the best option.

  5. aplihs

    @Hobo….One needs to be calm and in tranquility to be able to sit and watch the stars….btw I hope to do that over the long weekend…starting tomo..:-D

  6. Anand.U

    Shilpa San…Sure…I will look forward for it…Nocturnal times naturally the best times in life…sud help you with the clarity…Early Sunrise view times is the one gonna put you ahead of the world…sometimes i call it 15 mins early wonder…hav fun !!!

  7. Kunal

    Life of a person in the software industry is really boring unless u decide on how u want to spice things up..
    Well mine is no different either..

    Kunal

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